Movie Review-ABCs of Superheroes


Review-Nothing can quite warn you for the insanity that is this film. Think about this if you took the concept of the ABC’s of Death if National Lampoon created it and added the mentality of Amazon Women on the Moon, you have just scratched the surface. The story opens with a mom and daughter going into a store, the mom seems to be very annoyed and tells her daughter to go get her comic book. That comic book it turns out is called “ The ABCs of Superheroes”. As the little girl goes from page to page, what she reads we watch on the screen. We begin with the letter A, which stands for Almighty Ape. We have the geek boy named Jeff who gets picked on by a bully named Biff. After being embarrassed he goes to the other room to take care of a monkey, and somehow thru this contraption called the Ape Chamber he gets exposed and turns into this big ape who is out for revenge. This short is the best example of what this film offers, it offers cheap low budget fun. What it lacks on budget and effects, it makes up for just in balls to really create something so off the wall that it worked. As we turn the page to B, we learn about a hero named Bonnrr or something like that is pronounced Boner. It seems he has the princess captured and she is saved, and during the process of trying to stop Boner he goes thru a portal to Earth. When he gets to Earth he saves a young woman from some crook. He becomes a hero and a millionaire. Well, the princess and his arch enemy miss him and want to go to Earth to find him and bring him back.


This is the start of what I liked to think of questioning your brand of humor. There is a situation that occurs when the guy goes to Earth that is so darkly odd that some people may not laugh at the absurdity of it. We turn the page to go to C. This was an odd story about the title character who is Cowboy Man, he is out to stop this cheese thief and only has 8 hours before the thief takes all the world’s cheese. This shows the cleverness, this breaks down into a reality show type deal in the middle which was odd but yet kept me intrigued. D is our next story which stands for Deity. Which is the calm to E which is the storm. Electric Eel Woman is when this gets a little bat shit. You have a normal eel who gets bit by an electric girl. Even the announcers who talk at the end were just as confused as to why this girl does not have clothes on. How did this not happen before today? That would be the letter F, if you think you have heard and seen it all for Superheroes, you forgot the Fist Fuck Force. Everything you can imagine that would come out of this few minutes, is pretty much right. I want to skip to I, Instant Girl. Another genius moment a superhero wanting to change into their costume and getting naked and realizing they did not bring their outfit. Instant Girl as we watch is a jealous bitch who hates Dark Beauty and while they are fighting crime decides to show Dark who is in charge. Oh, I forgot who the evil was in this one, a woman whose weapon is breast milk. J and K are combined like G and H were, this one is about Jesus and King Satan. We learn that Jesus is a black man who cannot trust his Judas gang who look like the blue light special of the Beastie Boys. This little bit had the best one liners in it that I feel will offend any christian. But, do not worry Black Jesus is making another pop up later in this film. L is our next story and it is a quickie. It stands for Light Speed Laundromat. You do not want to know how this sick fuck cleans clothes. These people behind this film are on acid and do a shit ton of drugs. M is my favorite, and if you think you seen it all. I wish they would make this a full length film.


M stands for Menstrual Girl. A guy hits his girlfriend in the face and her bloody lip drips on this vase and out comes this girl who sprays the guy with vagina blood till he melts. Fear not, we are told that coming soon is Menstrual Squad. Again, as insane as M was, my god was N just as fucking batshit, and we are to believe a little girl is reading these stories. N stands for Nomster. This starts off like an odd perverted talk on the popular television show Alf. We are led to believe that is how this will go. Nomster is so over the top silly that I felt like I was doing drugs. O is a quickie called Orgasmic Octopus. If this short did anything, it prepared you for the insanity that is P. P stands for The Story of Popular Girl, if I was not going to burn in hell before this night, loving this short promised me that. Popular Girl is what her name tells you, except that she has this huge penis. We meet the Christians who are against her, but one of the Christians daughter is in peril she is hanging on the ledge of a building for her dear life and Popular Girl asks the girl to grab her penis to pull herself to safety. What happens after that is just so off the wall and it involves Black Jesus.

Q stands for Quack Man which was silly with a really dark ending. R though, it stands for Rape Robot. A robot who is like the terminator who is looking for a girl to rape, and of course he would find the girl from the letter M with that damn vase. Again what a perverse ending that will get people’s attention. S stands for Shit Storm and it is about a racist who meets his match. You can guess by the name of the superhero how this could end up. T and U introduce us to Lloyd Kaufman who hosts a show called Sex, Mayhem and Murder that all the children seems to love. Well, this short stands for Tarantrella vs Unicorn Man. The kids take a dare and go in front of the television screen and say the name of Unicorn Man 5 times and he appears to end the kids and it is up to our hero Tarantrella to stop him. V is the most genius short, it stands for VHS-Man. Now, talk about a concept that could work. You have this guy who lives thru VHS tapes to save his girl from her ex. Genius, utter genius all over this one. Where most of what we reviewed so far went for shock or offending, this shows you that there is more to this film, a lot of passion and thought. W and X stands for X-Panda Bears vs Worried Christian Fathers. We have Black Jesus vs the Christians that started on the Popular Girl story. This time we have three pandas who seem to be on a mission to stop the Christianity. This has so much that could offend a casual film viewer, I am not sure how many can handle a modern day image of a black god being crucified. Y stands for the Young Descendants of the Universe. This time Nomster and his clones are out to stop our heroes. This one goes from the deep end to the truly bizarre end fast. There is a gag in the film that I thought, “ why am I laughing this is disturbing”. A hint, it involves a baby and Nomster. Z is our final act and it stands for Zee-Man, this one was fun but then it bursts into this musical number. I thought, there is no way they are going to let this all be so cheery and feel good, and I was right.

This film is something so fucking amazing and fun. There are a few hiccups here and there that fell a little short, but as a whole this is the future of low budget indie filmmaking. This gives the viewer something that you will not get from Hollywood, and at times something you would not even get from other indie films. This is the only Superhero film you need to see in 2016. This is not the future of film, this is the right now. I am so happy film has got its balls back and decided to put out something that will divide audiences and lend itself to harsh criticisms from people who this film was never intended to be watched by. This film is going to get a reaction out of every person who views it and that is why we go to movies. To get a film that is out there to challenge our normality to watch it and enjoy it, even though it is so over the top and absurd. If this does not become a cult classic down the road there is no justice. This film is something very special and very highly recommended.

9 out of 10