Movie Review-Dark House

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Review-An open letter to Victor Salva: Dear Sir, where the fuck is Jeeper Creepers III? You have promised us this film for what now 5 years? How many trailers have we seen that this film is coming Fall of this year, Spring of the next and Summer of the last? I hate when horror directors promise people something they clearly are clamoring for but then give them something else. It would be like craving a hamburger and really badly wanting one and then eating a hot dog instead. It is not what you wanted but it is what you settled for. So, I wanted Jeeper Creepers III and Dark House is what I got instead. Dark House is a cheap direct to home video cheepie that really overstays its welcome by the end of the film and had me not so sure if I want anything else from Salva. I am aware of Supernatural and watching this film did at times feel like that television show. The issues I had with Dark House are basically that the horror element felt stale, as did the performances. This film is about a young man who with a touch has the power to see someone’s death. The odd thing about this is that we are informed he lost his mom to a very suspicious fire in the asylum. Our sad emo guy has just inherited an old mansion which he gathers all his friends together for a road trip. As you can guess people warn him that the mansion was washed away ages ago? Are you with me this far- there is an urban legend or myth that this house somewhere still exists? This film does have a little going for in terms of some of the darker material in the film that really I feel clicks on a level that may make some recall Twilight Zone (well a mediocre episode) This film really tries to make something out of truly nothing and it fails on so many levels to ignite any type of passion or watchablity. The characters are wooden and their emotions feel so network sitcom being cancelled.Tobin Bell who is still riding the coattails of his Saw fame does his best to create some spark in this film and just comes across as trying too hard. I feel Salva really right now is under so much scrutiny with how bad the last Jeeper Creepers was and the sequel that he knows in his heart may not be up to par but will continue to milk a release to draw more and more attention to it. This film really is an example of when a director really has no direction and a cast are left in the dark with what to do or say, and have to just play it by ear. There are elements of this film I would recommend, but there is just so much that I feel horror fans are so sick of, that they would hate me for liking this film or even telling them they should check it out. This film is a miss all the way across the board. It could have been better, but it is just another example of how horror directors try to fuck over the fans with mediocre films that they want you to support while they fuck you on what you truly want.

4 out of 10

That was being far too kind.