Coming January 7th
Review-Big Ass Spider! is a film that you have to know going into it, this may either be a very good cheesy film or it is going to be an eye rolling bad CGI boring film that I will regret. This nature-gone-amuck-and the world is smoking crack horror film lies on both sides of the argument. There are elements of this film like the Spider that I found cheesy and fun, then there were elements that I found eye rolling boring bad and that is the script and acting. I assume the mindset you need to sit thru this film is alcohol, drugs or a bunch of friends at a party. This film from the Lloyd Kaufman playing a sleazy jogger who gets to meet the title character to most of the dialogue, it is just the screen winking at you hoping that you get the jokes and that you stick it out. That being said, the spider was not the issue with the film sure it looks bad and fake, but that was the fun of it. It resembled every other giant spider seeking revenge from the early days of horror to present day. This film tries to think it is above the basic SyFy film and that is the problem with this film. The film was made on a very small budget, but I feel it at least did not hide the spider from us or build it up where you seem some awful cardboard cutout. I have always been a fan of Mike Mendez from the criminally underrated The Convent, to the Gravedancers the man knows how to make a good horror film. I feel he tried too hard to make a creature feature that he thought would be taken serious. The film starts off with the Spider attacking the city, and we go back to 12 hours earlier and see how it happens. Alex Mathis is our exterminator turned hero who learns there is a spider at a hospital which seems to be killing people and may be getting bigger. He has an assistant or sidekick named Jose and they are unlikely heroes out to fight this beast. Of course, you know when the shit goes down the military is going to get involved. Just by some sheer chance Alex will find a love interest in the military who as we can guess will at first deny him and brush him off as a joke, (like most of us who watch this film will) and then later be the one person who the spider does not kill instantly but will kidnap, because the spider knows the woman is a plot device to keep our interest just kill the scale actors and actresses not the names. I wanted to really like this film more than I did. I love these dumb creature films and the thing I loved the most is the fun I have while watching it. This film beside the spider scenes there is nothing to recommend. The acting was just flat and uninspired, for a film like this you expect everyone to be in full cheese and hamming it up mode, but instead the performances just felt flat and got boring. The film falls into the trap of predictable and trying too hard. I wanted to laugh at this film but I just did not find it remotely amusing. The Spider though really worked for me, just captured that era of cheese for me.
4 out of 10