Movie Review-Fear The Forest

fear-the-forest-poster

Review-The definition of a film blogger is a person who reviews films because they are passionate about film and the art of film making. I love film, any genre I am down to watch a movie and whether I know a little or a lot I am always excited about what each new film brings. When I do reviews like this one, it sucks for me. I hate to talk negative about movies, I get no joy out of saying a film sucks or was not up to what I expected. Where some people seem to get their rocks off spewing hate, I am here to promote and help films. I mean most of us send companies emails to get films like this. You think we are going to say, “Hey, I hope the film sucks so I can blast it and hurt your sales”. We are in bed with these companies to help them get you the consumer to put your money into their films off our words. That being said, Fear the Forrest is the worst piece of shit I have ever witnessed in my 45 years of life. The production values are laughable, horrible and if they spent over 19 dollars they should never tell a soul. Even worst is that watching this film these people thought this film was the second coming. This film is unwatchable, the script is non-existent and if this is acting, they should all not quit their day jobs. This film is proof that people should step in and tell others they are wasting their money and they are not as talented as they think are. How this film is seeing the light of day is living proof that there is a sucker born every minute. This film is an embarrassment to horror, an embarrassment to indie films and these actors are an embarrassment to their selves. Barbara is the lead character; she is the daughter of a governor who is so stoked to be going into the woods with her friends. Before we get to this boredom, we get a rival sorority who tries to interfere with the party, which then leads to Barbara and some other girl in a dojo fighting? Do not ask me, I thought all films about fearing the forest should have a fight scene that seems to want to capitalize on MMA. This film seems to involve Bigfoot who all our characters seem to act like they have no idea about. This film is horrible; it feels like it was just an excuse to cash in on that Bigfoot craze with a budget that seems to be cheaper than the McDonald’s happy meal. This film has the personality of a shark attack victim bleeding out. This feels like a cheap cable access special to help people with their fear of sleeping. Even the most die-hard fans of Bigfoot will hate this film, there is not one minute that I sat there and thought this film could get better. There were plenty of minutes I was contemplating writing my suicide note, this film depressed me that film fans who love horror, are always punished with this nonsense. This fucking bullshit, that is so cheaply made trying to rip off people with that title and cover. This film if it was true to form the tagline should read, “We may suck who knows that is subjective, but we want to fuck you out of your cash. That we all will agree on after watching this”. To give this film a rating from one to ten is like rating a funeral. This film is why so many horror fans are so sick of putting their hard earned money into films in this genre; this is such a pathetic excuse of film making. All involved should be ashamed that they even had the balls or hole to make it, much less try to sell it. This film is going to survive with the roaches when all is said and done, just watch. This is our punishment for being fans of horror and film.