Movie(s) Review-The Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine and Cold Eyes of Fear Remastered Editions

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Review-We are going to start this double feature off with Sinful Nuns of St. Valantine. Let’s be honest what is exploitation without the horny and oversexed nun? I will be the first to admit I am a fan of anything that can take a religious staple and sort of put an odd spin on it, that one may think it could be realistic. While this film is not really the cult classic or staple film to rush out and see or have to own, this film does have its moments and turns out to be a somewhat good and at times very sleaze filled romp. This film focuses on a character named Esteban who is on the run after being wrongfully accused of killing some Bishop. He escapes to a nearby convent and that is when the film really takes off somewhat. The film also centers on Lucita, who as you can guess is going to be very sexually satisfying looking and will be torn between religion and her love of Esteban. They are going to runaway together until now Lucita is wrongfully accused of murder, when her lesbian nun roommate is killed. The film paints Lucita’s parents as deceitful and scum, which also brings up scenes that give us lesbianism while it is forced at first, torture and also nudity. Just from reading this, you know who this film is out to cater to. There is also another character named Father Onorio, who is this sick fuck who takes pleasure in torturing women nude. (What a lucky bastard) There is a part in the film when the Father tells Lucita he wants to have her burned alive and he seems to be getting turned on by the thought. From there the film turns into Esteban trying to save her and that they are these lovers that are so different that they are meant to be together. Kino Lorber/Redemption really did a slam dunk on the restoring of this film. There are some parts in this film that have some glitches but that made the film feel like a grindhouse film more than annoying.All in all, this was not so bad and true exploitation fans will have fun with this film. The film is even better if you are doing your own commentary which I seem to have started around the twenty minute mark of this film. This was a fun little romp that I think people are going to dig a little.

7 out of 10

Cold Eyes of Fear is basically a huge letdown for me. What I was expecting this film to be and what it was was night and day. This is basically crime thriller set in London, and the opening sequence tells you basically all you need to know. They have a man who picks up a woman at a night club and takes her back to his Uncle’s place. It felt like it was just soulless and cheesy sleaze just to have sleaze. Which I felt they should have got this film going with a solid opening that would suck us in, instead of having us roll our eyes. Well, we learn that the man is a nephew of a high ranking judge and that at the house they are not alone. It seems there is a crazed gunman also who takes them for hostage. To go on more and more about this film would be revealing some spoilers that I feel if someone wanted to watch this piece of trash they would rather be surprised. This film is so incoherent that it starts to break down into two plots around the thirty minute mark, and gets more and more confusing to follow. The job they did on the restoration is solid, the dubbing not so much. The acting and story was slow and boring, the film does have its moments that it tries to get going but in the end this film just feels so wasted and flat that I wanted to shut it off more than I wanted to pay attention. Why keep going on, at this point it feels like a hate crime for me to keep picking on this film.

2 out of 10