Movie Review-The ABC’s of Death

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The ABC’s of Death is another one of those films that comes around and the hype spreads way before anyone gets to see the first trailer and certain sites put on their suit and tie and go in total sales mode. This represents the ugly side of blogging to me, not so much the film but the promotion of it, when non horror fans that run horror sites cannot cut it in the real world and make their money lying to you fans that you have to see this film or that film. To them, horror history did not start in yesteryear it is whatever film comes out next that pays them to lie to you guys. I noticed this trend when Paranormal Activity was making its round in 2008-2009, and a select group of people got to see it, and that select group went into hard selling mode. Then when the backlash happened, they hid and went into another sales pitch of another film. These same geniuses tell you to support unrated horror because they get paid to, not because that debate is over 32 years old and actually started when Fulci tried to get a few of his films in theaters, and they would only let him play at midnight. But, to them since Fulci has nothing to offer and Adam Green did, then the debate just started one day for a trash film called Hatchet II.

ABC’s of Death is a film that I feel is going to be misunderstood by the horror community much like V/H/S was. This is the new age of horror, where popularity and “in-directors” take over on the old school horror tools like fear, terror and peril. This is 2 hours and 8 minutes of 26 shorts by 26 different directors, that each uses a letter in the alphabet. Each director got 5 thousand dollars to create a short, and some of the results were interesting, some were pathetic and some were very good. A concept like this is ambitious and for that aspect alone, I applaud the attempt at this. But, you also know for a concept to succeed, that all involved have to be in the same mindset and at least have the same goal, but it seems that some of these guys and their ideas were barely watchable and just absurd. There are a few on here that are meant to offend people and be cutting edge; they touch on topics like fighting a dog in UFC mode, killing a kitten, masturbation and even pedophilia. There were a few that used both cartoon and Claymation, and I felt those were so uninspired and very boring, I mean who wants to see a cartoon of a girl taking a shit and the shit fighting with her to go back in her ass. Now, I will be honest the sleeper to this whole anthology was someone that I have called worse than Uwe Boll, and that being Jake West, he has the letter S and does a short called Speed, that really should have been a full length film. Libido is another one that is just pure odd, it is about a guy who has to masturbate to survive. Those two were a few of my favorites, because they were different and just plain odd.

To me, another odd thing is that before M, the shorts felt shorter and after Ti West’s awful Miscarriage short, they felt to be getting longer. Some of the shorts were just so odd that I felt they served no purpose but to take up space, but there were some that really delivered. Wait till you guys see Z. Z delivers insanity, from exploding penises that make some kind of rice to women who shoot with their vaginas. And the F short about Farting and a school girl who wants her teacher to fart on her is another odd one. While I will go on record, and say V/H/S to me was a little better, there is enough on here that was OK, I wish it would have been more but for what we get, it is average. The negatives to this, it is way too long, they should have cut this down by a half hour and maybe tried to think about making smarter horror instead of flatulence humor and just trying to get every so called name a chance to create, they should have taken the best ones which to be fair was maybe 12, 13 and cut the rest. All in all, films like this I am glad I did get to see, and more than likely will see it again. It is a good start that I hope if they are going forward with more that they try to give us more horror and more things that are hype worthy like maybe some cutting edge ideas and something that makes us to want to tell our friends right after, “you have to see this film”. This film is a good idea that felt incomplete at times and at others it felt like they were trying really hard. All in all, this is worth a watch but with a concept like this, I was really hoping for so much more.

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7 out of 10