Jordan Downey in 2009, released this film called Thankskilling maybe you guys and gals have heard of it? If not, let me explain this premise, it involves a puppet turkey killer who is named Turkie, the kick to it is he talks dirty and has these cheesy one liners. Most of the bloggers were so in love with this film, while I felt the film was ok but started to fall flat towards the end, others built this film up to the point that I think in Jordan’s mind he was some kind of cult director and this was his masterpiece. Well, around 2011 posters started to emerge as this in-joke Jordan was creating that there was a Thankskilling 2 coming, Turkie in Space. 2011 came to an end and then we got word in 2012, that there is a Thankskilling 3 coming, but no explanation about part 2. Well, come to find out in the opening minutes of this film, Thankskilling 2 cost the studio 400 million dollars because they had to teach the whole crew and cast how to be astronauts and had to take classes. That by the time all that was done, they had no more money and had to shoot the film on their iPhones and it became known as the worst film ever.

The premise to Thankskilling 3 is that Turkie is back and although the studio destroyed all the copies of the Thankskilling 2 film, there is one more left and Turkie needs it as this film is encoded with a curse that can destroy all mankind. What I liked about the first film is gone in this film; in its place is utter boredom. It was like Jordan tried to do an adult Muppet movie. The film centers around a puppet named Yomi, who loses her mind in the beginning of the film and is on a search to find it, but comes across the last copy of Thankskilling 2 in a dumpster where she thinks her mind is at. Well, she befriends a guy named Uncle Donny who does infomercials about a device called One Pluck Master that can turn an ordinary turkey into a thanksgiving dinner in seconds. Well, Donny along with his brother Jefferson is the only human characters we get, beside two brief cameos one by a female newscaster and the other by Wanda Lust who again does a topless scene within seconds of the film starting, just like in the original. Donny and Jefferson have this grandmother or mother who thinks she is a rapper, and it is utter desperate joke after bad joke. I get that Jordan is trying to expand his horizons and puts in some stuff like Turkie Vision which is 3D like sequences to try and keep us interested, and a fight in the end which goes into retro video game era.

I get the cutting edge mentality, why not skip part two and just jump into three, but this is lazy, just utter pathetic. You follow a film that you feel made you a cult name with a fucking puppet show? Seriously, what are you thinking about? This film is like a bunch of stoners got together after watching Nick at Nite and said I have this idea. How can you expect anyone to watch this film and be entertained? You have cartoon elements, you have puppets, you have fairy tale and you have a stuffed turkey, fuck why not make a kid’s cartoon? I would say this is a letdown but to be honest, towards the end of the first film and how pathetic the last twenty minutes were, I would not have expected anything less from the follow up. This concept if people got on board and had a little more creativity could really work, and make for some fun horror. I just hope this film is the one that gets destroyed next. I know Jordan will claim this film is misunderstood and that we did not get it, oh trust me, I got it. You saved the original notes and script from the first film and added puppets, and hoped that those people who kissed your ass the first time, would do it again no matter what you put out.

1 out of 10