Movie Review-Spiders


Coming to home video March 12th

A film like Spiders you almost know what you are walking into when you watch it. Director Tibor Takacs past work pretty much speaks for itself, Ice Spiders, Mega Snake, Bats and etc. So with films like this you really know that certain things may have to be considered, 1.getting drunk 2.getting a group of friends together and doing a Mystery Science Theater episode 3. sitting back and just shutting off your brain and having fun with it. Films like this are just not made to be taken serious, they are more made for people to just have a good time and forget about all their ills and the world’s problems and did this film succeed at that level, sure. The film takes place in New York City when a Soviet space station crashes in a Subway tunnel, inside this space station where there was no human survivors were some mutated deadly spiders. The films two main characters Jason ( who is played by Patrick Muldoon who was in Ice Spiders, Starship Troopers and Stigmata, so he is used to spiders, huge bugs and out of the ordinary things) and Rachel, who as the film opens are signing papers to their divorce, of course. Well, Jason goes to investigate why one of his coworkers did not answer the phone that went to the subway, and once there he finds his dead body with an egg inside it. So, he gives the egg to his soon to be ex to take to the lab and investigate it. We learn that the egg they passed off was the egg of the Queen and the researchers who know these spiders exist need that egg for the queen.

From there, the spiders somehow get out of the subway and go onto the streets of New York to cause havoc. As far as being a remake is concerned, the film does not even come close to the original, not by far. But, to its positive this film is way better than any made for syfy or asylum film I have seen about mutated creatures. So, the Spiders wreak havoc on New York where our all the people? You are telling me when this goes down which happens almost immediately without warning, the only people panicking are the two main characters and the military with the rest of New York a ghost town? And, the military can open fire at close range on them and they will not die but you can take a forklift and kill one instantly? Now, another thing that baffled me is that the spiders shoot a web on Jason’s leg ok, they cut it off and magically within seconds the web has no trace anywhere on him? I mean they did not cut around his leg where the web was slung they cut in the middle of the web where they were trying to capture him, the web around his leg should have still been there. Of course, you know in times of trouble our divorcing couple will get along and that only their 12 year old daughter is the only person in the whole city that the Spiders are targeting? This film makes Spiders look like they have grudges, you got my relatives in Ice Spiders and Starship Troopers, I will show you. Rachel is played by Christa Campbell who I guess tries her best with this film, but in a 20 minute period how many people can almost run you over with some kind of motor vehicle? How many close calls can you have in a 3 mile range?

There is a scene in the film that is so laugh out loud that I have to tell you, I learned that if the military want something from you, they can disguise themselves as crooks and in broad daylight trap you in a car and bust open your windows and at gunpoint just take it. Why not, just pull her over and say “Rachel, we are the military and you are under arrest we need to confiscate your purse”. See, you are reading this stuff and probably either rolling your eyes or laughing so you know if this film is something you want to see or not. I will give credit the transfer is crystal clear and perfect. For me, I knew what I was getting into and I was not bored by it, but I felt really dumbed down afterwards.

5.5 out of 10