Coming into your driveway on December 11th
Creep Van is a low budget horror film about Campbell Jackson who is a man who needs a car or something to drive. To help himself get a ride for himself he is forced to take a job at a local car wash. One day he sees this old beat up van for sale, and little does he know this is that â€œcreep vanâ€ that is on a murder rampage all over the city. This film represents what is good and bad about indie horror. Letâ€™s focus at first on the good, it has some amazing kills. This film gives you a lot of kills and some very good blood moments that will have you smiling. If this film review was based on gore and blood, this film would be an Oscar winner. The sadistic driver of this van has no issue with killing people in the most gruesome of ways. That is all the good, I mean for some people I guess the women would be another positive; this film gives you plenty of nudity moments. This film seems to have plenty of budget to give you nudity and murder galore, but the negatives to this film is what I wish they would have put more money into and that is the script and the acting.
The characters in this film are boring and their attempts at humor fail more than succeed. This film is the equivalent of seeing a beautiful car on the outside and then when you get inside, the car is covered in crap and you would not want to sit in it. How many Lloyd Kaufman cameos in films do we truly need? I cannot remember when those meant something; he does the same old tired shtick time after time and seems at this point to be coasting more on his library being sold to major studios for big paydays then trying to keep his legacy meaning something. You want to hear the joke, Lloyd Kaufman plays an irate customer at the gas station about his car not being washed and guess what the owner of the car washing placeâ€™s name is??? Mr. Kaufman get itâ€¦That sums up the humor in this film. Of course Campbell has a love interest, her name is Amy and she works with him at the car wash, this relationship is just awful and so badly casted and written. The dialogue between the two makes no sense and at times is frustrating, no one talks like this. There is just no believability in this script and the delivery; it was like a reading that everyone arrived stoned and needed gas money.
The bad part is there just was not enough killing and blood to save this film from being bad. There are moments here and there like an odd sex scene that shows that good intentions were sprinkled here and there, but this film is a very bad guilty pleasure at best. I think horror heads would love the gore and blood, and in some odd way I think people would just let the rest slide because of some of the scenes that really deliver. The last ten minutes of this film, they tried to outsmart themselves and give us one of those endings that they thought you guys would not see coming, but by the end of the film if you stick with it, you will just roll your eyes and be happy that the ride is over.
This film is where the majority of indie films are at in 2012, either they deliver one and sacrifice the other, or they give you neither and it feels like a cheap knock off. Then there is the 10 percent that shoot to redefine how you view indie films, sadly this is not in that percent.
4 out of 10