Movie Review-Bloody Birthday

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The date is June 6th 1970, the place is Meadowvale, California, and the event is a solar eclipse. On this fateful night three kids are born. Fast forward to the week of their 10th birthday, now it seems people are dying all around them. When you think of this little indie gem from 1981, you get a Friday The 13th meets Village of the Damned feel. When the film first gets going, we witness a young couple go to a gravesite and have sex in the ground where a casket is to be laid into the next day. Well, within seconds of this act they are both killed. From there we get to see a police officer who is out to find the person or person(s) responsible for this. So, his first place to look is inside an elementary school when he tells 10 year old kids all about the horrors of murder? My first thought, if two people having sex in a dirt pit was not enough having a cop go to a elementary school and ask the kids if they know who killed someone and explaining what death meant is really so comically odd that you know this film is not trying to take itself serious.

Well as we learn within the first fifteen minutes, there are three kids who are responsible for these deaths, the same three that have their 10th birthday coming that week. In this film is a brief cameo from Michael Dudikoff, who a lot of people would know from all his fight films later in the decade. Now, the shocker comedian Julie Brown, not Downtown the one who did the Weird Al stuff back in the day and was in Plump Fiction, not only has a role in this but she has a nude scene in it as well. Can I be honest; this film is awfully boring and bad. When I think of 80’s horror, this title would not even be in my realm of thinking. The way these kids try to kill people and make it look like an accident is just stupid. Like a scene they are trying to kill someone, and they put a skateboard on a step for them to try and slip on. Then later in the film comes a car attack in the junkyard, where the kids seem to be inspired by The Town that Dreaded Sundown and wear the sack hood and try to kill someone with a car.

There is a scene which involves killing someone with an arrow to the eye thru a peep hole. This scene was awful, there were no blood spurting, just a shot in the eye and dead instantly? The film has zero to any appeal, and the cover is so misleading, I was expecting an all-out slasher blood bath, and what I got was not even remotely close or in the same planet of. Now, it sounds like I am going to completely trash this film, but it had some redeeming stuff. The bonus features, Severin always seem to deliver in one form or fashion, and the bonus features for this were awesome. You get a 9 minute interview with star Lori Lethin who talks about her time in this film, and also you get a brief 15 minute history of the slasher film. This film is bad, not fun bad but bad bad. The kids in this film were not even close to being menacing enough to even be considered any kind of threats. The one kid looked like McLovin, and he has a scene where he is just walking down the street with a handgun in clear view and no one thinks this is suspicious. Hell, there is a scene when the kids take the hand gun to school and point it at a teacher and her reaction is, “ok now, stop that or you will be in trouble”. And the scene where one of the kids is in plain view with car lights hitting him on the head looking in someone house with a gun pointed at the window. These are warning signs that your kids either need help or that the neighborhood is pretty dumb and you could rob them blind. All the while, I was left to ponder what kind of presents does one bring to a bloody birthday? A tampon, a band aid, spot of tea?

3 out of 10