VHS Review: Necropolis

Quite possibly one of the worst horror films I’ve ever seen – Necropolis doesn’t just take the grilled cheese sandwich, it takes the entire deli. For several viewers it tends to be pretty forgettable, that is if you could actually get your hands on a copy of the flick. For me, it was pretty unforgettable because of how terrible it was. Not only that, the lead actress had six titties so that remained imprinted in my memory.

Here’s the lowdown, a she bitch riding on a motorcycle is terrorizing the city after being reincarnated. 300 years prior to this, she was put to death by a priest while performing a sacrifice on a summoned, innocent virgin so that she may have eternal youth. Now her and her undead minions are gathering souls so she can give eternal youth another go around. The she bitch is also a witch that loves disco dancing. She has the ability to make people commit suicide. Now that it’s the 80s, she’s a punk decked out in leather. I honestly believe she and the driller killer in Slumber Party Massacre II would make a lovely couple because he was also decked out in leather and broke out some terrible dance moves. I just about had a heart attack from so much laughter during both films where the villains began dancing. That being said, I adore Slumber Party Massacre II and it blows this piece of cow dung out of the water. Even the music in SPM was better. The 80s metal tunes in Necropolis were pretty unspectacular.

The most memorable scene in the film would be when she whips out her six tits and breastfeed her evil minions. It looked like some weird… I don’t know how to describe ‘goo’ that she sucked out of her victims and now her lap dogs get a piece of that magical goo action. Who the hell comes up with this kind of thing?

I wouldn’t say there’s an abundance of gore here but we do get some severed limbs and a neat decapitation scene along with some stabbings. The special effects weren’t so terrible. She uses mind control to make some of her victims kill themselves which I thought was pretty lame.

I think the poor acting is what ruined this film completely. Not to mention, the ludicrous plot. There’s a news reporter and a cop that have also been reincarnated and they both discover that they use to love each other their previous life. You have got to be kidding me. The three of them just happened to be reincarnated at the same time and in the same city. I’m also not buying the opening sequence taking place in the 1800s. She’s disco dancing and wearing a black leotard. They could have made it more realistic but this is the 80s we are talking about.

LeeAnn Baker, who I remember from Breeders, is extremely attractive. Other critics have made poor comments about her looks but I don’t know what they’re talking about. If you see her angelic face in Breeders, you will agree. She’s hiding behind a lot of make-up in Necropolis. Looks seem to be the only thing Baker has going for her. She falls short as an actress and her B-Movie acting career only last for two years with films such as Breeders, Bad Girls Dormitory, Psychos in Love, and Mutant Hunt. According to her IMDB page, she is “living the quiet life with her husband and daughter and still acts in local stage productions.” It also says that she quit acting after realizing that she didn’t have what it takes to “go the distance.”

Porn director, Tim Kincaid made a batch of B-Movies, including Breeders, in the 80s. This time around he was a producer, along with his wife, and he gave Bruce Hickey the advantage to write the script and direct. This appears to be Hickey’s only  credit, other than producing a made for television film.

Necropolis was released through Charles Band’s Empire Productions. Cinefantastique magazine named Necropolis as the worst ever release of all the Charles Band films.

This is one of those films that you can drink to every time a ridiculously BAD line is delivered. It’s fun for parties and bad movie addicts but every one else might find themselves revolted or bored.

  • Heck I remember this movie lol, you will never forget all those titties on that chick.. It’s been years since I’ve watched it, thanks for bring back some of my memories as a teen watching crazy flicks like this on a late Saturday night..