Movie Review-Zombie Babies

Coming to dvd September 25th

Plot-When a group of couples have the same issue they meet a guy named Burt, who runs Burt’s Casino and Hotel. And also for our group of couples they offer discounted abortions. Well, we learn that maybe not put a pile of dead babies near anything that can reanimate the dead. I am just shocked at all hell that it took this long to come up with this concept.

Review-Eamon Hardiman took a break from the Porkchop franchise to step out into this indie little horror comedy. Ok, that out of the way I am not sure how I should start with this review? Films like this, I am supposed to be all excited about and all over but the truth is that while the gore for what little we are given was really good, and the decapitation scene by a fetus with its own umbilical cord was ok, there was so little to really satisfy my gore cravings. This film has grossed out written all over it, just the premise alone. You have an abortion doctor and the dead fetuses come back to life for revenge, that is supposed to be sick and shocking and this film just did not feel like it. The humor in this film is so one note, and most jokes feel so blah. We have Shawn C Phillips and he is banging Ruby LaRocca and going on and on about his 4 inch dick, which just was such a miss. The sad part is that they milked this joke for way longer than they should have. And, they have a scene that is a death on a toilet, but only show you blood coming down off the bowl. You are supposed to be repulsive and gross, why not just go all out? If you say “well, they probably had budget limits or time constraints, my response is why even go this route then?” There is some comedy element to it, but it was more unintentional then intentional. And the babies look like something out of the Full Moon Doll films. Again, I think with the title of the film I was expecting a nonstop blood and gross out fare.

Even the abortion scenes where they are using clothes hangers on the girls and they walk all funny after just did not have the impact it should have. But, the funny part is watching this film was like watching a car crash, as bad as it was and got I just could not turn away. And why is it that no one was ever shocked or appalled that their unborn babies are now zombies? They showed little to no emotion. I think Eamon did this film just for the promise of people hearing about it and being so offended and up in arms, but you know what this is the horror industry sir and people are fine with these concepts.

They expect these kinds of ideas in horror, and if you spent more time trying to offend and give us shocking, fans like me would not be so offended that this film did not deliver. I know people knew I would mention this scene, where the guy ties himself to the bed and thinks his prostitute girlfriend is coming back to bed with him, and the baby gets on top of his blindfolded face and he does some ass to mouth to it, and then the baby does something that is what you expect it to do. You are telling me a horny guy cannot tell the difference between a baby on his face and a grown lady? And how many women can have an abortion and the next day is all ready for sex again? And why stay in this place once the abortion is over? And another kicker, ok you just had an abortion but no one is using condoms for sex after you just aborted a baby? Why am I overthinking this film?

This film has a cast that is more than happy to show skin more than acting chops, but even for its subject matter this film just felt so tame and safe. It was not a total waste, it has some decent moments here and there, but this was such a failed opportunity. Why is it every time I say the title to this film it sounds like that Ozzy Osbourne song Crazy Babies to me? I think this film could be that film to invite friends over and do a Mystery Science deal to it, and just get hammered. College students seek this film out for the kegger.

4 out of 10