Movie Review-Piranha 3DD

Coming to home video on September 4th

From John Gulager who gave us Feast and all its sequels comes the sequel to Piranha. Yes, those killer fish that haunted us in part one and the originals are back yet again. This time they moved out of the water of Lake Victoria for a water park further down in Arizona called The Big Wet. Like Alexandre Aja and his remake a few years back, this starts off with a guest cameo or two. Now, Gary Busey and Clu Gulager are no Richard Dreyfuss and lack the fun that Richard brought to his cameo, but it was ok for what it was. This film shares a lot of similarities that the Aja’s remake had, it has the sleaze factor on full display, it has the fish being front and center, and it has the stars from yesterday trying to mock their former selves. Last time, it was Elisabeth Shue this time it is David Hasselhoff who plays a lifeguard at the waterpark. Who does his best to mock his Baywatch days, sometimes it is pretty amusing but others it feels so forced and almost trying too hard.

The plot of this film is basic enough, Piranha 3DD follows a marine biologist named Maddy, who returns home to find that her shady stepfather, Chet has transformed the family water park into a more ‘adult’attraction called Big Wet, complete with wet t-shirt contests, a topless pool and if you are DD you get in free.
Unfortunately for Maddy, Chet and everyone that happens to be in attendance at Big Wet’s opening celebration, the park just so happens to be located upstream from Lake Victoria and soon enough the clever and flesh-hungry man-eaters manage to work their way into the park’s water supply and you guys know what happens when Pirahna’s get in a water supply. We learn that Chet paid off a police man who so happens to be Maddy’s lover to look the other way while he pumps the water park full of the water from the stream to save money.

Returning again is Christopher Lloyd, Paul Scheer and Ving Rhames. Christopher Lloyd is limited to maybe like less than 5 minutes this time around, but Paul Scheer and Ving Rhames stay a little longer and provide some of the film’s most humorous scenes. With Ving and Big Wet now with no legs and Paul is trying to get him to conquer his fear of those fish by getting in the water before the attack happens with the fish. Which leads to Ving being all Rambo yet again with a gun and metal legs.

While Aja’s film was a bloodbath of gore and boobs, this sequel gives you plenty of boobs but really gives half of the gore of the original, if not less than that. This film tried more harder to be suspenseful, and humorous but when you watch a film like this, you want the gore. That is why the last one took off on dvd and blu ray so hugely is because the first words out of everyone’s mouth was “ this was an orgy of blood, nudity and fun in large quantities”. This film while at times was fun to an extent, it felt like a cheaply made direct to dvd sequel. To learn that this had a 20 million dollar budget, I am shocked. The last one by Aja was only 24 million, how did this film not give us more gore and really seemed to be a lot shorter than the last one. And why the cut-away scenes that leave us wondering how the fish killed certain characters instead of showing us? I also learned watching this film that these fish can crawl inside of a woman’s vagina and still survive. That scene I will admit was cool because it led to a kill that was pretty gross and bloody.

This film is more parody than horror, and it tried so hard to mix both and at times it worked and others it was just flat. I liked Hasselhoff, when he can sit there and mock himself and do it so dead on, it brought a cheese factor to the film that was welcome. I cannot say I hated this film, it was fun at times and offers a lot of cool gore moments. I just wish that more thought would have been put into the script and the characters. The dialogue in this film is eye rolling to very juvenile, but it is the horror genre and sometimes that is what we have to deal with. John Gulager and his band of merry men writers showed us 7 years with Feast that there is talent and they can pull off a great film when motivated and inspired. Piranha 3DD, I have to put on par with Feast II as being a good idea that should have been a lot better than it was, but was not that bad for what it is. If you were a fan of the first film lower your expectations and you may enjoy this one as well. All in all, you could do better that is true, but you could do a whole lot worst.

7.5 out of 10