Movie Review-Don’t Go in the Woods

Coming to dvd June 12th

Plot-So you, yes you, think you seen all the people stuck in the woods horror films and they can offer you nothing different? This one offers you a twist. A young band goes into the woods to work on new songs, and soon they are joined by their women. Before you know it, they discover there is a killer in the woods while each one of the cast sing a song. Think if Glee and Friday the 13th were mixed together. The woods are now being taken over by pop glee bands.

Review-I am supposed to hate this film. I am supposed to trash this film to all end, but you know what after about 15 minutes and I realized what this film was offering, and I started to warm up to this film a little. If you are going into this film wanting to see a hack and slash bloodbath, you may want to skip this film or fast forward the film a lot. I feel in about 10 years, people will look back on this film like they did with Heavy Metal 2000, and may warm up to this film more by then than they will now. Horror fans, die hard a and b horror fans, will hate this film. Nick is the main character, and he seems to be taking this studio time in the middle of the woods way more serious than his band mates. To get his point across how important this time is, he smashes everyone’s cell phones. You know when that happens, that at least they did not have the lame no signal dialogue to blame when this shit goes down. And once all the killing starts, instead of being worried, he wants the band to keep on making music. We get the clueless females, we get a blind guy, some EMO stoners, and we get a horny Asian. So, you know the director was shooting for the cheese factor in just the characters and dialogue alone. When this film is not a song, it is some of the most either bizarre dialogue or fucking cruel comments and those comments are what made the film seem cheap. It was like they were trying to sell too hard that Nick is a dick, and how he talks and treats people. The actor just did not have the chops to sell us on this, he seemed like he was trying to prove to himself he could do it. This film seemed like Grease with killing. Or if the Plain White T’s were in a horror film. On the bonus features is director Vincent D’Onofrio, who tells us this is his feature-length directorial debut. And how he has taken a group of non-actors and went 12 days of filming in the woods. I thought the ideas were fresh, and this was definitely a different take on any slasher I have seen in a long time. I am not really sure, who this film will entertain, or who to recommend this to. The actors as hard as they try, are subpar at best. The film as a whole, I am glad I got to watch it, but I won’t ever watch it again. It took so long to get the action going, that by the time the killings started they were blink and done. The final 20 minutes was the best part of this film which is when the film just went for it with the killings. The songs made no sense, and when they sang them the lyrics sounded like my 15 year old niece wrote them to say she was rebellious. And that ending and the explanation, everyone is going to hate, and I am supposed to hate it as well. But, as weird as this film felt the ending fit it.

This film is definitely different than your average stuck in the woods film, and it did not rely on those clichés that all films in this genre rely on. But, for a film like this, I sort of wished it did and was. A lot of ambition and heart, but it could have been so much more. Then, the flipside it could really have been so much less. Oh well, next time you think it is safe to go back in the woods watch out for the EMO glee kids.

6.5 out of 10