Movie Review-Jesus:The Total Douchebag

” There goes my teen and christian followings”

Plot-From the director of Dolla Morte and Antfarm Dickhole comes this film about the life of Jesus. Chances are this film may offend a lot of people. Look at the title of this film, what are you guys going to expect going into this film? Passion of the Christ? In terms of a more deeper plot, think about this..what if Charles Manson wrote Jesus Christ Superstar. There goes our huge Christian following.

Review-So far in my Bill Zebub journey, I have witnessed puppets doing the weirdest things to each other ( Dolla Morte). I have witnessed a guy who has angry ants in his penis ( Antfarm Dickhole). Now, I have witnessed Bill and crew, give us their take on the life of Jesus. Bill Zebub is fucking insane. Who thinks of this stuff? I loved this film, but in the same breath, Bill is truly out of his fucking mind. And I am not talking about ha ha funny, I am talking about this man is truly out to disturb and offend as many people as he can. I was on the edge of my seat throughout this whole film, to see what this man will throw at me next. This film is slapstick, but in its most obscene and vile form. When the message of the film gets heavy or takes a serious tone, Bill gives us tons of female nudity. In the first 5 minutes alone, you are either going to be very offended and want to shut it off, or you are going to laugh your ass off. We start with a puppet show ( think Dolla Morte) and from there, we go to Mary giving birth to Jesus via a penis coming from the sky. Then God drops a hammer on his only son and kills him, only because he wants to have more sex with Mary. Well, during his downtime, she gets raped by this black man and she gives birth to a black jesus. Then, she gives birth later to a white jesus. From there Bill plays the white Jesus. Jesus is portrayed as a sex addicted coward. He is avoiding his own fate, any way he can. He also hooks up with the local prostitute for sex, then stiffs her for the money. Has sex with a blind woman and makes fun of her, and forgets she is only blind and not deaf. Then, when she regains her eyesight, he calls it his miracle. He walks on water, and tells this woman, he can teach her to walk on water. So he explains to her she needs to take off all her clothes to lighten her weight. So when she cannot walk on water and drowns, you can guess what Jesus does. Also starring in this farce, is GWAR’s own Oderus. He is just as fucking twisted as Bill. He plays this shape shifting devil. I wont go more in detail, because it gets odd. You have the romans masturbating to women being crucified naked, and Jesus catching them. And Jesus wears a robe, and underneath is a t shirt and blue jeans which he claims he got from the future. This film is also very racist. Not only to blacks but the jewish are not forgotten. Jesus tries to hide being a jew himself. We have lip rings, and tattoos in this re telling as well. Black Jesus was supposed to be a joke, which at times I laughed at, but I do not see many others feeling the same as me.

I loved the soundtrack of this film. That is the one positive, that I can always say about Bill. He has a genius as to what fits scenes in his film, music wise. The comedy in this film worked. ( well for me) This film does not sugarcoat what it is. It is pretty blantant. Where films like History of the World, would tip toe around certain topics, scared of the backlash it may cause. This film just does not care, and if you are offended, then so be it. Bill Zebub would be an awesome porn director. He does not skimp on the women, or nudity. To me, this is his best film to date. I love directors who push buttons and boundries. Bill is a love him or hate him director, who I feel at times needs a filter. Someone to steer the ship when Zebub pushes those boundries and buttons. Great fun, and a must watch for anyone who is sick of what hollywood kicks out these days.

8 out of 10