Movie Review-Nude Nuns with Big Guns

NUDE NUNS WITH BIG GUNS coming to Blu-ray and DVD this Valentine’s Day from Image Entertainment‏…And for this Valentine’s Day, remember: Nothing says “I love you” like NUDE NUNS WITH BIG GUNS!!! ( I could not resist when I got the email this morning sorry)

Plot-Look at the title, you sort of know what to expect. This is from the creative minds that gave us ..Run Bitch Run. Now, you really know what to expect. Sister Sarah is out for revenge on those who wronged her. Shortly after she took her vows at the convent, she is victimized by some drug dealers and they almost kill her. Now, they are going to feel the vengeance of a nun scorned. Oh boy, is there a lot to talk about….

Review-Nude Nuns with Big Guns…oh man, I would love to be in the board meeting when they are trying to get a film like this greenlit. You have to picture all these execs- who have no clue about what is what in film and more than likely do not have a clue what a grindhouse anything is, and you get a guy pitching a film called Nude Nuns With Big Guns. ” Well, it has this plot and story”…If you are a fan of Run Bitch Run like I am, you are going to have fun with this film for the most part. Let us start with the positives. This film is not the ” hollywoodized” version of grindhouse, this is the real deal. This is just flat out, balls to the wall, no cares and if you are offended, we do not care fun. This is a throwback to sleazy seventies exploitation / revenge movies–the acting is cheese, fun and bad cheese. And that is the charm of this film. A film like Machette failed cause the actors instead of having fun tried to be serious actors and were affraid they would look bad. This film, is the opposite you can tell the people involved are having such a ball with this film from behind the scenes to in front of the camera. Which was a small problem for me, while Asun is stunning to look at and she lives up to any nun wet dream you can have, from lesbian to straight scenes she covers all the bases, but her dialogue and acting chops were barely watchable. For a film that is bent on revenge to work you have to have characters that play off each other. And Chavo, as the main bad guy was fun..he was vile, violent and gave you plenty of reasons to hope he gets his. I just felt Asun was not the perfect heroine to combat Chavo. That being said, all is not wasted..cause this film is just plain hardcore. What it lacked in Asun’s talent, it made up for in just subject matter. Now,I am a fan of disturbing and controversial subject matter and content, if it is entertaining and not just throw in to be thrown in. This film is just wrong in a good way on so many levels, Chavo the bad guy, really is the star of the film. From his actions to just how bad we want to see our female vigilante get her revenge on him. And that was a great positive to this film, that the film was so violent and just flat out goes for the throat so much, it hardly lets you breathe. There is no denying Asun Ortega is beautiful, and she has some suggestive scenes that could sell this film to any male, but her acting talent is not her strong suit and thank god for this role it really did not matter, you know there will be no oscars for this film come March so things like dialogue and acting are almost non caring, you watch a film like this for the violence and the hardcore aspect of it and those two points are this film’s bread and butter. As with Run Bitch Run, this is where Joseph Guzman deserves so much credit, he does not shy away or tries to make a safe film. This film can almost be describe as a aggressively sexual rape fantasy. I liked Run Bitch a little more, and that is because of that scene with Christina and the school girl outfit…I highly recommend anyone with a pulse to see Run Bitch Run asap and prepare for this valentine of pure adrenaline and smutty grindhouse sleaze. I had fun with this film and watched it twice in a night. We need more films like this and less films like Hollywood’s version of Grindhouse.

7.5 out of 10