Movie Review-Kill Katie Malone

Plot-Katie Malone is a spirit inside a box. Some college kids win a online auction for this so called possessed box, but once they get the box they realize the box may really be haunted. Two of the three as a joke, make wishes..and then the wishes come true. Then, they make the mistake of opening up the box and now the spirit is set free to wreak that on screen havoc all trapped in boxes spirits wreck.

Review-Before we review this film, let me just tell you who is in this film, this may soften what will come after. Nick Hogan has a bit role, Stephen Colletti who plays Chase on One Tree Hill and Dean Cain. ( even though Dean is top billed on the box, he has all of what 15 minutes in this film maybe less) This film seemed like an exercise in errors. It suffered from poor execution of scares, the script delivery,and last but not least poor characters that seemed so bored, that you are bored right with them. This film just felt to me like the been there done that film, like instead of writing a script it just borrowed so much from this film and that film that the film truly had no identity, much less a rhyme or reason other than making a fast dollar. This film seemed like a bad Wishmaster meets a even worst Final Destination. From the get go, with the bad beginning scares with Dean Cain to the 2 guys and a girl all giddy about buying this possessed box, to just how lame the wishes they ask for are. If you could get any wish you wanted..would you truly ask for one red rose or your 40 dollars back that you bid on the box with. Why not ask for billions, or a better script or even better yet a better agent. The scenes just felt so ho hum…ok we won this box and it cost us 80.00..why not build on this, like a suspense or maybe a tension that one of the characters is at least a little worried about what can happen? I know someone will say they are supposed to be so unsuspecting, but even that did not come across. They looked like they were just bored and trying to come up with dialogue on the fly. What has Dean Cain done so wrong that he is being punished with all these direct to dvd messes? He is so out of place in this film, you have to feel for him. There is one scene which involves the spirit controlling this girl’s hand and a cutter. It builds this scene so heavily only to have the camera not deliver the payoff to the scene. It was like it built the scene just to tease us what it could have been. Then, why even fucking go there if you do not have the balls to stay there and deliver on what you are showing us will happen. Now, back to the poor execution comment. This scene should have been really cool, and see I did not mention about the other error in the scene where the spirit throws this teacher across the room but the students in the class are not even reacting to it. It is just another day in school..ho hum..we see this all the time. NicK Hogan, like Brooke gets all those Hogan family call in favors, but seriously who told him he is an actor? He has the acting range of dry paint. Even on the reality show about the Hogan’s, he overacted and that was his real life. God, whoever said Brooke has no acting talent..wait till you see Nick. Hulk had to be his acting coach. His range is from unwatchable to truly fuck Katie Malone, kill me instead for watching this.

On paper, this film looks like a great premise, executed this film felt like a total miss. Like, the director had a book called How to make a horror film..or even better yet…Horror Films 101, and he just went thru all the pages and lifted ideas. It truly sucks for me, when you know people put hard work, some money and gave a lot of sacrifice and time to a project and this is the end result. I bet the actors and director knew from the first day of shooting this film was like a sinking ship, and the actors were all just praying that it just stays afloat long enough to cash the check. I wish I could sit here and tell you the positives, but even the few positives did not seem that good when the scenes fully played out. As a whole, I have seen worst..but this film is bad, and not even bad in a fun and cheesy way..just plain bad. in a truly unwatchable way.And again in closing..Dean Cain, talk to Charlie Sheen, and Robert Downey Jr..if they are given all these may get another one.

1 out of 10