The awesome folks at Echo Bridge has graced us with another 3 pack of films. I will be the first to admit going into this review, I have not had the pleasure of watching any of these films as they been out for a while. First off, the transfer on dvd is not too shabby, I was really impressed that it did not come across worst. So, you get some decent quality for your dollar. Now, let’s talk about the quality and quantity. Oh boy!!!
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus-Remember Debbie Gibson from the 80’s…Shake your love, and Electric Youth and all that good stuff..well she must have seen the dollar signs and she is back. Along with Lorenzo ( this is not my career, it is just a holding state) Lamas they are the two main characters of this film. Plot-In the melting Arctic, two prehistoric sea creatures have been unleashed from their tombs of ice. Bigger, stronger, and faster than any animal our modern world has seen, they terrorize the ocean with an appetite for destruction that engulfs anything in their path. When Mega Shark and Giant Octopus turn on each other however, a spectacular battle for supremacy of the sea unfolds…if you know ahead of time what you are getting into, you may have some fun with it. While Dino Shark was way more fun than it has any right to be, this was not so much fun. I know in later days, Debbie will do a few more of these films..even one againist Tiffany. Oh wow…This film is just an excuse to watch cheese, and this film is non apologetic cheese. It does not even try to remotely take itself serious or do anything realistic. Even, the emotions that the characters have just seemed so bad. And while we are at it, poor Jennifer Rubin and that Transmorphers franchise. This film was not boring to say the least, but it was pretty bad. Debbie oops my bad Deborah needs to bitch slap her manager. That is what you get for dumping CC Deville.
3 out of 10
Monster-Did you see the Host? What about Peter Jackson’s King Kong…guess what so did we..and here is our mock buster…Plot-Erin and Sarah travel to Japan to do interviews about global warming. However, during interviews Tokyo suffers a horrendous earthquake and as they take cover, they soon discover the rumbling is caused by something quite different. This is a shaky camera, internet film. The 2 sisters were cute, but damn were they just the most and boring people you ever could meet. And they are not too smart, they seemed like the kind of girl you bring to a hotel room for some fun and you lay on the bed and they freak out cause there is a tv and they want to watch it. The giant octopus was boring and so fake, that it was just to the point laughable. That I hoped the director and screenwriter if there was either, would maybe be attacked first. And a scene where they are crawling around in a cave was such a insult to the Descent. This was not even fun in the cheesy way. This was a waste of both time and energy…even to review it, this is a waste of time.
1 out of 10
Raging Sharks-When the crew of an underwater lab discovers an unearthly sunken UFO? that’s mysteriously attracting hundreds of sharks, they become a security risk and a target. And the sharks are after everyone, they are raging…Let us be honest…Vanessa Angel is a very beautiful woman. She can sit in front of a teleprompter and read a cell phone instructional manual and we will all be happy. This film is so bad, that not even her overacting and bad dialogue can save it. This film from how absolutely fake the sharks looked to them using stock footage. This should come as no surprise that these are clone films. And this film came out during the hoopla about Open Water. This film was just a bunch of b movie hotties that have no business even trying to remember some of this god awful dialogue and worst b movie males who look so out of place and are trying to say something to be noticed in this film. The sharks were not the only thing fake in this film…this film seems like a sexual harassment lawsuit just waiting to happen. And for the record, this has Parker Louis Cant Lose actor Corky as the main star…I guess this is a little better than opening a mall.
1 out 10