Movie Review-Children of the Corn 4 Film Series

Echo Bridge offers us this time a 4 pack on blu ray..yes 4 films…and before I tell you the titles, let me just say..while the special features is still a issue, the quality and sound is not. They really do a good job with the transfer here, and I will say..this is the Miramax Multi-Feature…and for the holidays may be a great stocking stuffer…depending on how you take my review…

We are going to take a film called Children of the Corn, which most of us loved the first and original film. Now, since this love fest we have been bombarded by sequels, made for dvd sequels, made for tv remakes, syfy at that..and even dare I say the countless anniversary dvds and blu rays for this film. After witnessing the god awful Genesis, I thought…” lord this series could not get worst..” See, something I forgot…there were films that I kinda did not want to see..or read so much negative I ran from, but now I thought, let us watch them and see if maybe the critics were wrong. This may be very interesting….

Children of the Corn-Urban Harvest. From 1984 to 1995, we had three films. James D.R. Hickox I have a deep dislike for. He was the visionary behind one of the worst films I ever witnessed in my life called Blood Surf. For that crime alone he should have his S.A.G revoked and be beaten with a bull dick. The plot of this film is about two young Gatlin residents who are orphaned after the younger brother kills their father. So, the terror of Gatlin re-emerges when the two boys are placed in the custody of two foster parents…So basically the concept of the first film is altered so odd that this film almost worked. I love thinking outside the lines of contemporary sequels. But, this film had the pacing of a snail and when the gore which is not over the top and smart starts to happen, that it is almost an afterthought. I mean, I love films that have to explain plots and establish characters, but to have them go around in circles so much, and not really get anything meaty to keep our attention or focus, then why even go that route at all? For a film like this to work, it has to be a all or nothing situation. Either make the characters and concept interesting and captivating or just give us so much gore we will go numb. Still, not really a bad effort..maybe a misunderstood one.Though, Blood Surf is still the worst film ever in history.

5 out of 10

Children of the Corn-The Gathering. Now, the years are no longer that spread out between sequels. This one is a year after part 3. Hard to believe Greg Spence the director of this, is co producer of Game of Thrones. I wonder between this film and Prophecy II, if he just gave up on direct to dvd sequel horror films due to just trying too hard to make fans care about films that do not need to go past 1. Plot wise, this film.. the kids in town over night become feverish and have convulsions. The next day they start to become evil, change their names for those of kids killed long ago, and then start killing any adult in their path. If anything else, this film will be the one that stars a very young Naomi Watts. I dare anyone to go to a red carpet event and ask her to sign this film. I liked the fact that there was no mention whatsoever of “He who walks behind the rows”.

That line alone is just so done to death in these films. Now, this film was a little better than the last one because it created tension and a few cool scares here and there,and really took a yet again new direction and infused some new blood and ideas, and they worked for the most part.This was quite possibly what part 2 needed to be. And quite frankly I will put this on par with the first one as a fun time, now the first one is the superior film, but this film was not too shabby..quite possibly one of the better made for dvd sequels.

7 out of 10

Children of the Corn V-Fields of Terror. Of all the Children films this is the most b star studded. Kane Hodder has a bit role, Alexis Arquette, Eva Mendes, Ahmet Zappa, Fred Williamson, David Caradine and many more…that almost makes this abortion worth watching cause you know you will get some really bad acting. See if this plot sounds familiar..Six college students take a wrong turn and find themselves lost in a strange deserted town… only to discover that this quiet place hides evil forces. Yet even as the killing starts all around them, the young friends decide to stay and rescue the children…Ethan Wiley directed this waste, but you think he learned from this crap, he also did Brutal which came out a few years ago that was even worst than this film, if you can believe that. This film is god awful, and not even in a ” lets watch this and see” way..just a awful way. The killings were more fake than Alexis’s hand made clit. By the time, the kids started to kill and sort of defend their land, corn field, whatever they called just got so boring, that I wish Kane Hodder would have went Jason on this whole set, and 86’d them. This film almost felt like dinner theater improv on a very drunken night and trying to recreate a horror film.

3 out of 10..that is far beyond any kind of charity I should give this nightmare.

Children of the Corn 666-Isaac’s Return..plot is Hannah goes back to Gatlin, to find out who her mother is, but on the way she picks up a strange man who forsees her life with a passage from the bible. When she gets there she wakes up Isaac from a coma he has been in for 19 years. Isaac is awake and wants to fulfill the final prophecy…I like Kari, I really do. She has major talent, but I bet if I email her about a interview and want to talk about this film, she will deny press. I can promise that. I am supposed to be excited little omen kid Isaac is back as a Danny Devito meany pants who looks so rough. I bet that corn field had to have blow, booze and broads. Why was this film even done? My gripes are the in the fuck could they bring Issac back? We all watched him die with that goof Malachi..Gatlin has been a amish community for all these years and one day we wake up and it has become a city. If this is the case, instead of all the kids being insane killing machine, why not go to Sonic and Wendy’s and become fry cooks? This is the worst film in this whole series. Even worst by far than the made for tv abortion remake. I missed my calling in life, hell I could make a film better than this. I finally this year gave a film a zero. Whew I was worried. This is why I originally skipped this film, it is worst than what the critics said..a lot worst. This film felt like a bunch of down syndrome depressants trying to say they are actors and make a check. If anyone paid full price for this film, you should be beaten by a bull dick as well.

0 out of 10

All in all, for the price it is worth buying this just for part 4…maybe some of part 3…666 was awful, and if you are a fan of Children in any form or fashion, there is no way on earth you would ever find one thing to like in this film. Awful, dreadful, and pathetic…