Movie Review-Bite Marks

Coming to dvd November 15th

Plot-This is supposed to be a horror/comedy about a truck driver named Brewster who when his brother goes missing, he is sort of forced/blackmailed into working the shift for him. He is taking a truck with coffins to a funeral home for delivery. Along the way he picks up two gay gentlemen and they see vampires eventually.

Review-This review will come out wrong, and I know it will..but I am going to try and be polite. You Tube has made even the person with a flip phone camera think he/she is both a director and star. I mean in rebuttal, the same can be said about podcasts and blogs. I mean dont we all want to be Howard Stern and Roger Ebert? Films like this exist because of the way society is starting to embrace homosexuality. I remember a million years ago and a film called Hellbent. The tagline was ” the first gay slasher film”. Now, in horror it is becoming more common for this to be a open topic. Hey, some people dig watching men have anal sex, and kiss and grab each other in the crotch. For me, and no offense that just takes me out of the film. I mean the most common thing to say is ” oh I have gay friends”. Society always has to label and categorize something where films like this try to be maverick’s and stand out messages, but feel so flat and takes people out of  the film with the heavy overtones. I mean the two gay hitch hikers are having sex and Brewster is watching them and touching his crotch and he is supposedly straight as he slept with this woman and hit on this one. The humor in this film is bottom-line awful, and so bland that I feel gay people will think this film will almost make them look like sissies and just can display this in public and it is accepted. I mean, I hate seeing straight people make out, so gay people may not be my cup of tea as well. Do we get vampires, sure around the 40 plus minute mark but by that point..I was just so bored by this film that I just lost interest. This film could have went Evil Dead, and it still would not have motivated me to something positive.

The funny part, I am pretty sure I am not the target audience for this film. So, if I hate it, it is not saying that maybe someone who is gay may not have fun with this film. So why put a number on it, i will say..if you are into homosexuality male and like cheese, this film could be your Amadeus.