Movie Review-Scarlet Fry’s Junkfood Horrorfest review

Before I talk about this film, I want to just talk about blogging and how I feel we are disrespected. I will share with you guys, Mr Scarlet Fry ( aka Walter Ruether) recent rant on me as an example. ” Walter, why do people like you jump on blogs who rip your films part but you are promoting Rue Morgue who gave you like a postage stamp review and said all this hateful shit”….” well they
are Rue Morgue, James duh”. In the last 2 years, there has been a million blogs, and horror websites. Even, the worst of us can garner more readers than the most recent issue of Rue Morgue. Ask a fan or reader to name 5 films Rue Morgue has reviewed in the last 6 months and liked, and then ask the same readers to name the last films their fave podcast or blog loved. You will be shocked, what a new
day we live in now thanks to Facebook and the internet. I manage a magazine store, and know that we ordered 6 issues of Rue Morgue and 5 weeks later, we still have 6. And I know some of the reviews, that a lot of blogs do get anywhere from 100 to
50k in hits. And unlike Rue Morgue, we do this on us and you pay nothing. Free press, which has become a fucked institution. ( ha ha) Cause we can say anything…we have no censorship and freedom to keep on going and going and be nice or hateful as much as we choose, we do not suck up to advertisers or sponsors.

First off, I want to give Chemical Burn a lot of praise for going outside their usual realm and start trying to distribute better and more serious films. That being said, this Scarlet Fry compilation is horrible. Awful, boring and just bad. Now, I was good to the last Scarlet Fry film Nightmare Alley, and in a way I wanted to see Walter succeed. If people like Walter and others make good
films, it really makes the whole community look good, we need Chemical Burn, Brain Damage, R Squared, and others to make it, you think Sony will put out a Long Pigs, Scarlet Fry or even Dead Hooker in a Trunk? This Scarlet Fry character and I know I am not alone in this, is a lame character. Is he trying to be funny, cynical, or just a boring attempt at creating some alter ego? This dvd is a compilation of 3 Scarlet Fry earlier works. Let’s start with the one they hosted a showing of Carnival of Souls. This was bad and the sad part is you only get 4 minutes with them. He had two cohosts with him, that were called unfunny and utterly retarded. Or as Walter
called them Faygar and Deadhead. This is proof kids, if you have a camera and some friends and all the tables at the library are filled and you cant play D and D that you should dress up like your going to a star wars convention and try and make jokes that only you could understand and laugh at. Then came the 38 minute short filled Horrorama. Manwich was one of the shorts, because his wife did not
put meat in his sandwich he cuts off the leg of this co worker and eats it. Why is it most of this stuff, Walter overuses? It is like, he found a new trick and does it to death. What am I talking about is the leg cutting and this whole dvd it just seems like the same blood effects and gore over and over again. A girl who is giving a blow job but the guy still has his pants on and his zipper
zipped? Good trick, and why try to rape a girl who is willing and tells you she is into you and really dresses up for the occasion you know you are going to score? Makes no sense. I hate jokes that are meant to be smart but come across as stupid. Smart humor is a hard act to balance, just humor in general. What makes one person laugh, may not be funny to another. And Walter thinks if something is funny to him, it has to make us laugh as well. Sad to say, it does not work like that.

Now the main feature, Junkfood Horrorfest. Playing the junkie is Alice Cooper’s daughter Calico. The film starts off with her wanting a fix and someone gives her a vhs tape. Yes, a vhs tape. And she gets her friend, and they watch these shorts. We get Hee Haw Scarlet Fry. Holy shit, is this character a farmer, a wanna be crypt keeper or someone on the fucking D and D board. We get 6 stories that go from a skateboarder spanking a gay guy for cash to buy weed and gets mad when everyone thinks he is gay. Yes, I am serious. 2 co workers who hook up and one gets pregnant and the other says something she does not like and has to make him pay. This is a original idea,
seriously I have not seen 60 films this month about this subject matter. Wasted life is a downer where a guy wants to take matters in his own hands for his life. Desperate film makers take long traveled roads when these on the fly ideas do not seem to mesh. This is a prime example. This was supposed to be shocking but came across as just desperate. Like they want you to react. There are ways to do this
subject matter and this was not one of them. The in between banter with victims and hee haw Fry was unwatchable. Films are
supposed to have a flow, and a destination. This film just seemed so out of whack and that the train went off the tracks and they were just throwing ideas to test them and not caring. It showed. And it was only 65 minutes long. With a 8 minute blooper reel. And I love blooper reels. I am a huge fan, this was just as lame as the film.

I did not want to hate this film. And me and Walter always talk, (I guess facebook people would call that a friendship?)but I am a honest critic. This film may have a fan base, hell I may be a idiot. I will say I was not a fan of this, nor do I think anyone else could in their right mind even sit thru this whole film.

2 out of 10