As part of my Chemical Burn double feature, I started off with Melvin. A few weeks ago, I remember a email I shared with Walter Ruether, telling me Chemical Burn has this new string of films that really are promising. One of them, he named was Melvin. I thought ok, but he was not alone in the praising of this film. So I had to watch this 63 minute film about a nerd who gets his revenge on those who wronged him and other victims who have nothing to do with it. I would say this was a wanna be toxic avenger clone that instead of a mutant this film had a zombie, but damn if Lloyd Kaufman was not at the beginning of the film, and boy did he put his stamp on this film. The parts of the film I really enjoyed involved Melvin watching this b film that I have to seek out called Night of the Driller. Oh my god was that a great five minutes. Did you see the chick in the shower? As a whole, this film is like if Toxic Avenger and Zombies of Mass Destruction had a baby. I thought some of it was ok to a point, but this for me is a miss. And the budget get this was only a thousand dollars. This film reminded me so much of Colin, they really made the best with the budget, and I can see a lot of people really digging this film more than I did. But, I guess I seen so many zombie films lately, it would take something really groundbreaking to get me excited.
Which leads us to Lesbian Vampires-the curse of Ed Wood, I wish I was joking. This is the story of Carmilla, who shows the lust and love of girl on girl action. I will say right now, this is part of Chemical Burn sexploitation titles. This has all the cheap laughs, you can handle. Like a tombstone in the beginning of the film says Goldberg. And the vampire says, ” what about Austin 3:16.” Get it, it is a wrestling reference, for that it is supposed to be funny. But, let’s get to it. The film has bad acting, cheap looking camera angles, and a laughable script. But, oh my god, does it have fine ass women on women action. Boobs, closed vagina shots, and a lot of cute goth girls. This film also has S and M and tries to give a message. Which was lost on me, cause I could not get thru the bad acting but it sure did improve when there was no dialogue and just hot girls going at it. If you want a cinemax 3 am lesbian film this is for you. If you want acting and Interview with a Vampire, um…rent Interview with a Vampire. This is barely a miss, but not because of the acting and dialogue but again I will state, this film has some fine ass women.